Tuesday, February 24, 2009

For My Grandson

There are pains that a woman has who doesn't have children of her own. The thoughts of what "might have been"...the loss of that sacred shared experience that you feel with almost every woman you meet. You learn to live with it and count your blessings.
I was fortunate to meet a man who had children. His oldest daughter had an eight year old son. I was technically a "step-grandmother", but would I ever feel like a "real" grandmother?
Due to a tragic accident several years before, his daughter would be confined to a wheelchair for the rest of her life. His father was not around. The day I met Ryan, the first thing he said was, "Can I come over?" I was immediately drawn to his happy and energetic eyes! Just look at that face!
His mother wanted him to have experiences outside the home that she couldn't provide. We started to get him on weekends~ and that was 10 years ago. It is hard to believe that so much time has gone by~~

Ryan and my youngest stepson around our wagon that we took on trailrides...

Two boys acting very dignified and refined in dh's mancave :-)...

One of my favorite school pics...
Ryan winning Reserve Champion in steer riding...
It was so easy to feel sorry for him. Afterall, he was "disadvantaged" in so many ways. I'd like to think that Tom and I modeled a loving relationship for him. I hope that we showed him that he was special and important.
I taught him the finer things in life...like how to put chips Inside your sandwich...and the words to every song from the Broadway musical "Chicago". :-)

What I didn't know is how much he would teach me. He has an energy that radiates from the inside out. People are drawn to him because of this. He has an optimism that had to have been by choice from a very young age.

I look at him now (with my mother and dh)...

And I realize that I am the one who benefited the most...
I also realize that I AM his grandmother and was all along, because family is who you make a committment to. They are those you choose to love and support forever.

To my little boy who is almost grown up~ We love you!
Mom and Pop

60 comments:

ann said...

Oh Tomarie,what a story.i have goose bumps,and a happy tear in my eye.I loce you even more for loving that boy so much...ann

Leigh said...

What a beautiful and enduring post. I am certain he is what he is [artly because of you and yoru husband.
A fine young man.

xinex said...

Oh Laura, what a lovely post! Ryan is such a handsome kid and your and dh's influence on him made him grow up into a fine boy. I can tell how much you love him and how much he loves you!...Christine

Kathysue said...

Oh Laura, you talk about making you cry.You really know how to pull at a girls heartstrings.You are one of the best grandma's around and what a beautiful story and relationship you have with him.There is nothing more special than that love for our grandbabies.Thank you for sharing and what a wonderful tribute to Ryan and he is a wonderful tribute to your Love.Hugs Kathysue

Susan (Between Naps on the Porch) said...

Laura...this is beautiful! Ryan won the lottery when God gave him you and Tom as his grandparents! What a blessing to have such a close loving relationship. You are soooo right, girlfriend! It's love that make a family and I see lots of that in these pics!
Susan

OCDesigner said...

Laurie What a beautiful tribute to your adorable grandson. How could you not love a face like that?!!!...Its very true that you make your families biological or otherwise. Thanks for sharing your story. Love ya ~Athella

Happy To Be said...

Laura what a special lady and Grandma you are girl!! I have 3 step children and I also loved them as my own..being a Mama comes from your heart...Love ya girl..hugs and smiles Gl♥ria

Happy To Be said...

Laura what a special lady and Grandma you are girl!! I have 3 step children and I also loved them as my own..being a Mama comes from your heart...Love ya girl..hugs and smiles Gl♥ria

squawmama said...

Hey Laura... What a touching story... He needed you as much as you needed him... It was an excellant match... He turned out to be a fine gentleman... Thanks for sharing such a wonderful story.

HUGS,
Donna

prof en retraite said...

Oh Laura! What a sweet post! I have tears in my eyes! You are so right...family isn't always blood. It is love!! What a wonderful blessing you and your dh have been for him! Time spent with your grandchild is years added to your life!! Hope you are having a good week. February is almost over...Can Spring break be far away??? lol...hugs...Debbie

Jill said...

This was a heart filled story! You have a wonderful family.
I am glad I came over to visit. I signed your follower list and I hope when you get the chance you'll come visit me and do the same! :)

lvroftiques said...

Girlfriend I'm getting teary eyed. That was just so sweet! You are both so lucky to have EACH OTHER!! And what a handsome young man he's grown up to be! Awwwwwwwwwwww! Vanna

Dolores said...

Oh my gosh Laura, I am sobbing as I've read this wonderful post!!!!!!

All of you are sooooo blessed to have one another!!!!!
And....we are blessed to have you in our lives.....

David/Dolores...... love you so much!!!

Tracy said...

Hi Laura,

This is my first visit, and what a beautiful story you have shared. Your grandson is a very handsome young man and what a smile! You should be very proud of him.

Diane said...

Laura, I have tears in my eyes. Your story is so very touching and a beautiful one. Ryan has grown from a beautiful little boy to a strong, handsome and endearing young man. Great job Grandma! ♥ Diane

Diane said...

Hi Laura, I tried to sign your guestbook 4 times, but it's not cooperating. I'll try again another day. :0{

momma said...

what a great life story and lesson. i am wiping the tears from my eyes. you are blessed to have each other!

mbkatc230 said...

I'm so happy that I found your blog, and what a beautiful post for my first visit! He looks like such a fine young man, and the love just pours from your words. You've helped raise a wonderful person, and I'm sure he is as proud of you as you are of him! Kathy

Mary Ellen (megardengal) said...

Thank you for the wonderful story- isn't it wonderful how we get to be a part of other peoples lives- I am sure he counts you as one of his blessings----well, maybe you will have to wait a few years -- but he will if he doesn't yet!!

blessings
mary

Melissa Miller said...

Hi Tomarie, :)

I think I may know you from RMS and maybe from Lynne. Your lovely home seems familiar to me. It's gorgeous and so welcoming.

I'm so glad you came by tonight so I could read this heartwarming story.
I have tears in my eyes. How sweet and wonderful you are to have been so great to Ryan.
He is a very handsome young man I might add.

Please come and visit me anytime.
You're always welcome!

Have a blessed evening.
~Melissa :)

Dixie said...

Laura... what a lovely post... made me get all teary-eyed... ;) You are so right about step-children and their kiddos... Ricky and I married when we had 3-adult children each. I love his.. he loves mine... and the grandkiddos... I don't think they know that Grandpa isn't Grandpa by blood... he's the Grandpa that loves them and lets them follow him around the farm... teaches them to use tools... squirts them with the water hose... he's the Grandpa that loves them...
They're not as old as your baby Ryan... but it makes my heart sing to know what a wonderful blessing Ricky is to mine... as you are to Ryan... bless you sweet lady.
hugs. Dixie

laurie @ bargain hunting said...

Laura, this made me cry. I don't mean "tears in my eyes" - I mean cry! This is just a beautiful post! Just from knowing you through our cyber friendship, I know you have been a wonderful grandmother. These two precious boys couldn't have asked for a better set of grandparents, and I have no doubt that you ARE their grandmother. I'm tellin' ya, I loved this heart felt post! Love ya, laurie

kymber said...

Hi Tomarie,
I really loved your post today! As a mother of four stepchildren I can totally relate to your feelings of how you "fit" into their lives. I loved what you said at the end of your story. "Family is who you make a commitment to". What a beautiful young man Ryan is! He was raised with much love and support by his grandparents and it shines through - YOU are responsible for the smile on his face Grandma! No wonder you are so proud of him - he looks like a wonderful man. Congratulations!
Thanks for sharing- the beautiful love that you feel pours out through your words!
Blessings,
Kymber

Connie said...

Well, my little sweetpea, if you've just started then you must be doing something right because you have even more followers than I do!! Just keep it up and make YOURSELF happy and you can't go wrong. I would suggest that you put your email on your profile page in case someone would like to "chat" with you on something private. I just try to make it harder for the spammers, honey! LOL Also the state or area of the country would be nice if you so desire. Lots of bloggers would like to know "where" you're from. Just a suggestion, but you do what makes you feel safe and comfy.

Beautiful children also and I love your name Laura Marie. I do so appreciate you taking the time to visit and leave a comment. I'm always humbled by the people who do. I'm just an old lady trying to keep my brain active and trust me, I DO THAT!!

Nice meetin' ya, chickee........

xoxo,
Connie

Kristens Creations said...

Hi Tomarie, What a beautiful story. Ryan turned out really handome! What a blessing. Thanks so much for stopping by and leaving your nice comments. I really appreciate them! Kristen

Room Service ~ Decorating 101 said...

This is so sweet and touching...thanks for sharing.

mah said...

Don't you just love grandchildren? Oh the memories that they help us make. The sweetness of a grandsons smile can make me happy for hours. I am so glad you came into his life. Mary Ann

Susan said...

Your grandson is very handsome and I can tell how much you love him!

artis1111 said...

Great story ,and he is also verrrrry handsome. Kathy

Scribbler said...

Thank you s much for your sweet comments about my bedroom! Your grandson is a very handsome young man and you are lucky to have him. I would take grandchildren any way I could get some!

Scribbler (Ellen)

Bre said...

What an absolutely heartwarming post!
.....brought tears to a lot our eyes!

Thanks for visiting my blog ....love to meet new bloggers ! Please pop by again !

Cheers,
Bre
Chantilly Grace

Nana said...

That was so sweet! I can feel the love radiating from that post. How lucky he is to have you.

Nana said...

BTW, I love Aunt Di's house!!!!

Nana said...

BTW, I love Aunt Di's house!!!!

Blondie's Journal said...

Laura,

Thank you so much for stopping by and leaving your sweet comments on Three or more Tuesday. I am a little late in making my rounds but I had the honor of reading 2 of your posts! :-)

The paintings your wonderful husband (who by the way is not only sweet but clever!) gave you are beautiful. These are gifts to treasure. I especially love the third one with the two ladies sitting by the sea. Just love water and could see myself being there with a friend of my own, but all the paintings are lovely, the colors so bright & happy!!

This post about Ryan made my heart burst! Funny how are prayers are answered in a way we least expect. He was such a cutie when he was little and has grown into a handsome young man! Thank you for sharing such a sweet story!!

xoxo
Janie

Glenda said...

You are living proof that some children don't "grow under your heart but in it". You and your DH have been a very positive influence in this young man's life, of that there can be no doubt. Blessings to you and to your entire extended family.

Chari said...

Hello Dearheart...

Girl, I do apologize at being so late to get over for a visit! Thank you for coming by my place and for all of your sweet, sweet comments...you're always so "uplifting"...love you, Sweetie!!!

Well my friend, I just loved this post about your Grandson Ryan! You made me cry!!! Is this the Grandson that recently married? I'm thinking it is! He sure is a handsome young man and I think that you and Tom have done a marvelous job helping to raise Ryan...I'm sure his Mama appreciated all of your help! Laura, you know that Russell's two children are adopted...so I have special feelings and opinions about what it means to be a biological parent and a "real parent"! It's not the bloodline...it's the role, my friend, that counts!!! I say that your Ryan is very blessed to have a Grandma like you...and visa-versa!!! God sure is good to us, isn't He?

How are you feeling, Sweetie? I noticed that you were home again yesterday. Have you gone back to work today? Sure hope that you're feeling better...it's the pits to have to work when you're not feeling well! Praying for you!!!

Love ya,
Chari

Happy To Be said...

Hey girl!!! Now Vintage is supose to be fifty years and a true ameican antique is 100 years...however euro antiques are 200 years old to be considered an antique..Thats why you can but alot of stuff from England and it will be an Antique here but not there!! hope that answered your question..Good grief gilr your the teacher and you'r asking a dumming like me a question?? too funny I will put this one in my memory bank for sure..Hope are you doing ?? I hope all is well in your world..I got me some new meds from the Dr. today so hope they will help me...I got that ugly little Muchus guy in my lungs..any way hope you have a great night dear friend...hugs and smiles Gl♥ria

Lynne (lynnesgiftsfromtheheart) said...

Laura, what a beautiful heartfelt post. God sure knew what He was doing when He brought you all together..I would say you are lucky...Thanks so mcuh for your kind words, friendship and prayers.. they mean the world Laura. The roller coaster ride continues..one I'm just going to have to learn to ride...so I put on my happy face and go on...
hugs ~lynne~

Terrie's Lil' Piece of Serenity said...

Laura, Your grandson is a handsome young man. He is lucky to have you. My dh doesn't have any children of his own. My daughter was a young adult when we got married. She has two daughter that were born after we were married. They love my dh as if he was their real grandfather. He is.. their grandpa. We are all blessed and so are you! Hugs, Terrie

Cindy J. said...

Oh Laura this is so touching, my heart was so moved. God has so blessed you all with this wonderful ability to love each other. So often the people that don't have to love us love us the best. Thank-you so much for sharing this beautiful story. I have to thank-you too for the wonderful Sisterhood award, with everything going on with my baby boy I've not had a chance to thank-you properly.. and I do thank-you so much. Love, Cindy

Tomarie said...

Cindy~ Thank you so much for the sweet things you said on my post. I loved what you said about sometimes the ones that don't have to love us, love us the most...so true! I hope your baby boy is recupperating and doing well!!
Have a great weekend! L~

Picket said...

Morning girl..that is a beautiful post...How blessed is that for a two fold miracle....him a loving and nurturing grandmother and you a precious young child that needed you and all your love probably more than you will ever realize.

Thanks so much for coming by my place sweetie and welcome to blogland...that Gloria is a true treasure..I love her so! Take care my friend and have a great weekend!

Nicole ~ said...

Your story just warms my heart!! After reading this, I know that you are a wonderful grandmother to him. And, I bet he appreciates having you in his life!

Helen said...

You have written so eloquently and sincerely ~ from your heart ~ and I know how much you have touched all of us with your post. Everyone in your family is most fortunate to have YOU!

Chari said...

Mornin' Dearheart...

Just stopping by to say hello! Wondering how you're feeling? Hope my little note finds you better, Sweetie!

Did ya'll have a nice weekend? We didn't do too much...Russell has been busy selling stuff on ebay and all the auctions went out yesterday...so we sat that the computer for several hours...hehe!

Hope you're having a marvelous Monday, Girl!
Love ya,
Chari

Lynne (lynnesgiftsfromtheheart) said...

Laura, thanks so much for swinging in. You sure know how to make a gals head swell. :-) I'm going at full speed.. not sure I know how to slow down..probably a good thing.. I would probably crash and burn...hope all is well your way..did you get any of the snow?
hugs ~lynne~

xinex said...

Hi Laura! How was your weekend? Did you get some shopping done? Did Ryan win? Tell us all about it. Thanks for visiting my posts and for your always nice comments..Christine

DeDe said...

What a beautiful young man - sounds like inside AND out. That is so awesome.

I am 42 yrs old and do not have children, so the first part of your post hit home for me. I realize I am missing out on so much. And, I hate the way that so many other women make me feel like less of a person, because I don't have children. So unfair.

Happy To Be said...

Hey Laura...thanks girl for coming by and seeing my homemade cloche..Girl I have a case of those vases left over from grand daughter wedding...now I have also used wood draw pulls on them and painted them to match my rooms..thanks again...hugs and smiles Gl♥ria

lvroftiques said...

Hi Laura! I have a little bloggy award for ya! Stop by if you get a chance. Love ya! Vanna

lvroftiques said...

Hi Laura! I have a little bloggy award for ya! Stop by if you get a chance. Love ya! Vanna

lvroftiques said...

Laura a chandy would be perfect in your place! The contrast of a fancy schmancy chandelier with the rustic wood would be fabulous!! I'll keep my eyes peeled for a perfect one for ya. Anyhoo I've decided to do "Chandylicious Saturdays" So each Saturday one can post a picture of their (Or their dream) chandelier. What do ya think? Vanna

Susan (Between Naps on the Porch) said...

Hi Laura...just stopping by to say hi! :-) Hope your week is going well! Susan

Mama said...

Hello Laura, Thank you for joining my followers, I am so glad you did as I have so enjoyed this post about your grandson, what a fine young man and how lucky he is to have such truly loving grandparents. I am at present in England (DH and I live in the USA now but our children live in London) I miss them so much but they too are very fine young people and I am very proud of them as you are of Ryan. hope you visit my blog again soon, I will most definitely be back to yours, Kathy.

xinex said...

Hi Laura, thanks for the visit and you know how much I love reading your comments. Just got home from the antique auction and of course, we had a great time and brought home what we call treasures. I bought the plates from homedecorators.com and the pattern is called Abigail....Christine

Diane@A Picture is Worth.... said...

Hi Laura,
Thanks so much for the visit today!

This is such a wonderful post about your grandson...I know you are so proud of him!

Lynne (lynnesgiftsfromtheheart) said...

Laura, thanks for swinging in tonight and leaving such kind comments. I'm sure you're busy with all the school stuff. Our snow is gone and we're getting rain tonight after a couple of beautiful days..I hope you're having a super w/k..hugs ~lynne~

Liz said...

AWHHH! Thanks for the lump in my throat!

Sweet sweet story!

~Liz

Lori E said...

THANK YOU FOR THIS POST.
You and he are special.